skip to main |
skip to sidebar
- For B(A sequel to 'Parting at Park Street')-1-you’re standing by the window;insomniayou hearthe soft breath of the cityentangled in winter mistinhale the silenceinside the heart of the swollen river,and feel the pulseof the broken skythrob with flickering thoughtsas the city slideson fragmentsbetween a poemand sleep-2-what are the women doingin the rain?draped in thunderand songs,as my fingerslick the silence,exploring the ruinsof her sariwhy does the bedsmell of lost lovers?-3-nights of prayersand sweat,as we exchanged glancesin the taxi on the VIPtalking in fits and startsor polite whispersand you kept complainingthat it was getting latebut the traffic kept us waitingyour thoughts in a dreamand the rim of your skirton my naked toes,I savoured every secondof the uneasy silence
-4-rain girl,it’s been nine winterssince I left you standing aloneat the crossroadsin Park Streetand I have lost your touchinside the catacombsof this fragile cityI always expectedone last letter,but I never really botheredto look for it-5-dance of the moonin the embrace of the river,the bridge swingsin tension with secretsthe night once againtalks of uncertaintiesas lonely streetsdrunk with mercury lampsrecede in the mirrorand meltin the voyeur of smokeI succumbto the meaningof touch-6-staring through the blinds,you strain to detectthe last traces of soundthose sad evanescent whispersfrom sleepy apartmentsas stars sulk on the horizonone by oneyou count the lights,as they go outinside the ebony spacesof this dead cityand you knowit’s your turn now
40 comments:
For my friends,
Chk out Quince's new blog.
www.linedjarsofpickle.blogspot.com
Another excellent poem Deep! Looks like you have submitted yourself to Rain Girl's mercy because you left the decision up to her.
I wonder what she will say and what will happen next. You just kept this hanging again. he he he.
At least that's a good thing, I'll just be thinking of my own version of their love story.
Will come back for more. I guess the University keeps you busy these days.
Z
Man. Deeptesh. Stop Making Quince Proud!
well Deeps it looks lyk d parting just made a lotta things reveal........thots dat cherish in our m1nd after sum1 really D3aR goes away 2 make us feel solitary........and almost leave us to silent tears....stanza five was really touching and awsum and d best in d poem......
i hope dis parting will conitnue untill one day they meet again mayb when dey r too old to cherish their sweet memories but still look into each otrs eyes and say "I always beleived in my belief of d Return oF mY LosT LoVe"
da power of luv has been captured in ur portry...keep up...
'i succumbed to the meaning of touch'...how easily you wrote something so complex as far the emotion involved!!!! wonderful...im looking forward to raingirl's reply...it also reflects the immense love and passion that brings out such emotions...let there be love!!!
Hey, thanks for stopping by. Thought I'd do the same.
Nice poetry.
I really enjoyed this. It spoke to me as one who had trouble sleeping over the past several nights. The solitude, the yearning, the love were real and evocative.
i think i should stop commenting on ur poetry, because u have matured enough, and outgrown us all by now :). but i'd love to read some more.
This is gorgeous poetry! You paint beautiful images! I love "the rim of your skirt on my naked toes"-I can feel that!
Thanks for visiting my blog. I look forward to more of your wonderful words!
beautiful..heart-rending..touching..n poignant..it would be an under statement to say that u write well...but do try writing bout sumthin lighter next tym..how about our jheelpar addas..the tone in ur poetry is always v sombre..make it a bit more happy..
Hey Deeptesh..its been long that i made my last visit here...and what a poem to come back with...I loved it...it made me feel at times I cudnt stop to read thru the lines...This is awesome yaar..Keep going...I am proud to be ur friend buddy...
Thanks for the comment and the nice words! I enjoy your poetry as well!
Mysterious and titillating. A unique way of presentation, way to go!
this is pretty cool deeptesth. i can definitely sense a somber feel throughout.. a disconnect between two people. miscommunications and missteps.
This is the first tym i've cum across ur blog.Truly touching..espcly the lines.."Rain girl..it hs been nine winters..".Beautiful.Jst 1 word for it.Beautiful.
this is arijeet....it was fabulous....the "b" is a lucky one...
@ zorlone
Well, it is more about the tension between the poet n the rain girl an the pendulum keeps swinging in this monologue.....whether I should continue I dunno...may be it's best left unfinished....it looks complete but it is a fragment!
@ Quince
Ur blog will floor us all!
@ Srayan
Looks like this story has really moved u dude!And u keep getting better in English!
@ Sreemoyee
I'm glad if the poem has betrayed signs of true feelings!
@ Reeju
Ah! Will there be a reply....or will this remain a fragment?I don't know.Depends on what people want.I'm unbiased right now.
@ Ed Adams
Cheers mate!Hope u come back again.
@ Sandy Carlson
I'm glad that it made an impression!But the rain girl is the one in the poem who suffers from insomnia.
@ Ishani
Rubbish!Your comments mean a lot to me!And u r one of my favourite poets!
@ Anne
Sensuous, ain't it?Hope 2 hear more from u.
@ Amrita
OH....I'm already thinking...let's c....I'll try 2 write something about 'jheeling' then!
@ Subham
Thanks...welcome back old pal!Hope 2 hear more from you.
@ carissajaded
Thank u so much!
@ Jena Isle
Aw!Luv the way u look at it!Thanks!I'm glad u r back...
@ floreta
So glad u found time to visit me!Have a nice time in Florida!
@ Revived Angel
I'm flattered!Thank U!!
@ De Wolf
I'm so glad.n 'B" is happy too, I should think.Will have a talk at the uni.
very beautiful and touchy poem..........
keep it up princy......
(srayan's sis)
great work deeptesh.....the words r very realistic...keep it up and hope to expect more such master peices from you...
I think this part was even more beautiful
@ sayani
Thank u.I'm glad u visited me.What a nice surprise!!
@ Swastika
Thank u...
@ siras
thanks.I'm glad u r back!!
From part 4:
"I always expected
one last letter,
but I never really bothered
to look for it"
I like these lines because I think most people have experienced them in some way, at some point in their lives. Sort of wanting to hang on to the past, but not wanting to make much of a effort to regain it, knowing that it is, indeed, passed.
Also, great ending.
your poems are simple but yet very creative and nice! :)
outstanding!!!
@ Sunshine
Ah!Nice that u could relate.n so glad to have u back!!
@ Jm
thanks.I've been working on simplicity of late.....
@ Rajdeep Bhattacharya
thanksssssssss.....
nice! :D
@ Trisha
Thanks....
I really love the first section of this! very beautiful! I'm sensing someone's in love? I'm so happy for you! you desrve the best my friend! hows school going?
ps- this is larissa :)
Deep,
this one very, very good.
we sense a more sophisticated tone,
a more economic way with words yet more complexity at once.
kudos! my friend,
and,
keep on bloggin'
..
.ero
really nice; loved the succumbing to the meaning of touch...
and also...
I always expected
one last letter,
but I never really bothered
to look for it
Great imagery and very touching wow great poem deeptesh
@ Larissa
Thank u so much!I'm so glad u r back n blogging once again!
@ ero
You're spot on.I'm working on economy of expressions n making each word work more...like Caroll once suggested.
@ Sujaan
Thanks....looking forward 2 meeting u.
@ Marja
I'm glad!Always such a pleasure to hear from u!
i am so sorry that i took this long to come in here AGAIN!
the poem i s as usually fabtastic!
you love the tease dont you cuz i sense a lot of it in your words :)
but then you give me a chance to give my rotten imagination a chance to fill in :)
thanks for brining me in here
@ AD
So glad that u r back.n I absolutely luv 2 hear from u....such a great pleasure!
Tomar lekha shundor
I liked it more than the earlier ones, diptesh. the linguistic metaphors of silence are strong, but once again it rings too much of four quartets...it is darker and much more brooding...you can think of going beyond the Romantic second person and even Eliot's subversive use of it as in LET US GO THEN YOU AND I and so on...what about a calmer third person, may be?... there is a greater poetic suspension at work, here but i would still like to pare down, make the thing more precise...as Keats says, poetry lies in that 'fine excess'. u can seriously engage with the poems of Sylvia Plath, Carl Sandburg, Samuel Beckett and even the Surrealists/Verticalists...Your poetry can become lighter and more profound...reach that Unbearable Lightness of Being...as Joyce, the artist behind the work is always paring down the fingernails...ALL THE VERY BEST...GO AHEAD...WAITING FOR UR NEXT POST...
My friend I am sorry it took me so long to get to your web page. I have been ill in hospital.
Your work is wonderful as I can see that others feel as I do.
I will return to read more.
love-Melanie-bhd
@ atindriyo
thanks a lot!
@ windless
Thanks.I'll try 2 read all of them.But I'm still a UG-1 student!There will be time, there will be time.But I always luv ur incisive comments.
@ BHD
Thank u so much!I'm so sorry to hear u were in a hospital.Hope u r doing better now!
Post a Comment