so you think,
one death will move me
and take away all my remembrance?
my ears, even now, ache with metaphors
and ceremonies
do you still need an elegy?
Helen,
I have seen God in your eyes
when enemy ships decimated Troy
as I shielded you with my open arms
and I have scoured the sky for centuries
without a last trace.......
I never looked for you
in ice-buried museums
your skin still smells of holy wars......
and yet,
you talk of all the mirrors in the city
if you want to recreate memories,
then let all love end tonight!
a star sinks from the night sky
with a wounded apology...........
I wonder if any stars
are ever missed
do you still crawl along the busy crosslanes
and let your eyes cast virtual images?
touch me, for once, with your buttery eyes
and etch in me, your cold reflection
anoint my body with wax,
and reveal to me those ancient secrets
of love-making
beneath a canopy of whispers.........
can words ever recreate that silence?
let's explore ill-written poems
and repeat the jazz on Nero's flute
let's hide behind metropolitan lies
and cinematic fancies -
prepare the table for a last supper,
stack your pills with funeral songs.......
and let us, together, evoke the unborn prophet
from your next wedding -
as Troy goes up in flames.........
Note : (Though the allusion is made to the mythical Helen of Troy, she is, on a dual level, the 'snow girl' from my previous poem)
33 comments:
this is more understandable for me than the last poem...i really liked the lines, I wonder if any stars
are ever missed, and can words ever recreate that silence...
really nice, keep blogging
very nice, deeptesh!
here is my favorite line:
let's explore ill-written poems
and repeat the jazz on Nero's flute
great goin. keep writin
etch in me, your cold reflection
That'sa great line.. Keep smiling.. Hope to read more from you...
My response
@ Rye
That's my favourite line as well
@ floreta
Thanks for following my blog.
@ anatasia & sujaan
Thank you very much
Hey Deeptesh,
I actually did try reading your poem yesterday, but all I got was the first three lines. The rest of it came up in some kind of code. Anyway, I was able to decipher it line by line today. It's really beautiful. You do a great job of making references to Classical works--and your words are like music.
I liked this poem very much...but at some portions i think you wrote certain lines which were not that required...the poem could have made a more lasting impact in the mind of the reader had it been a little more specific...
Anyways...the superb ending is really praiseworthy and even the metaphors and imageries...
the line 'a star sinks from the night sky with a wounded apology'...yeah...i liked it a lot :)
please take care that your poems don't get monotonous in the long run...that's just an advice...
But, you are a very good poet with excellent creative thoughts and ideas in your mind...so,keep writing!!! :):)
I would be waiting for your next creation...
Wishing you best of luck!!!
Sourik :) :)
I did find some recurring imageries from other poems I have read and done.
Nice one, any way. Reminds me of my Odyssey classes.
Now I am finally here to comment
and I can't read it accept for the first three lines. The rest are cicles and stars etc
Sorry if you had to go through a loss Memories is all hat we are left with
My response
@ Sunshine
Thanks.I don't know about the codes.Must have been some connection problem.
@ Sourik
Yeah I focus on my endings a lot.It will be good if u mention which lines are redundant and why.Everyone's a learner.
@ Debs
Thanks.U didn't mention the names of the poems u were alluding to.
@ Marja
Yeah thanks.Was there any problem with the lines?A few others were also telling.I can't figure it out.Could have been a problem with the font.
Wonderful poetry. I'd love to know more about the woman of whom you write.
Deeptesh
@ Chase
Thanks mate!
@ Errant
That's a question I have to face everyday!Thanks anyway.And I'm happy that you have started following my blog.
i am very happy you showed up at my place and ask me to visit.
wonderful poem.
thank you
@ utopianfragments
No probs.Thanks mate!
great now i will have to de code it on word!
why wing dings?
:( all the same!
i decoded it on word!
and got the whole gist
I wonder if any stars
are ever missed......... yes there are ... on a completely blank night!
@ seher's shenanigans
It had deeper implications.Can the mind or memories for that matter ever be completly blank?
do you take all your pictures yourself
I love the way you weave the contemporary with the historical,
I enjoyed reading this and 'Reminisences'.
Thanks for visiting STG...
Hello Deeptesh!
I enjoyed your poem. I liked the Helen of Troy allusions. Greek mythology is a favorite.
Thanks for inviting me to your site. I'll add you to my google reader to keep up with your poetry.
@ Tazeen
Actually the photos have been taken by my dad.Photography is his passion.
@ SweetTalkingGuy
Yeah,it was an experiment to weave the present with the myth to provide a setting for the poem.I'm happy that you liked the concept.
@ Bluestocking
Thanks a lot.
sweet lovely poems.. Thanx for droppin by my blog.. Also find time to visit my another blog http://starbozz.wordpress.com and leave your views.
Very nicely written
Well, the fonts are in a bit of trouble actually, you have used "webdings" probably. The poem is very rich in terms of imagery. However, a slight chiseling here and there could render it even more beautiful. The delicate air of romance is very admirable!
@ Racquer
I knew u r gonna visit my site one of these days.Anyway,I'm happy you finally did.
@ Winnie the poohi and Sriram
Thanks a lot
@ Inamda
I've changed the font now.Thanks a lot for your comment on both of my poems and for mentioning the point on 'surreal urgency'
An ephemeral piece - it moves in and out of time and space to create a memory that may...may not...last. Excellent.
hey do chk out my new poem ' The Evening '.
Sourik
@ Tumblewords
I loved your comments...especially as it goes down very deep.It was an idea to create the feeling of consciousness of time as universal...where there's no past,present or future....
@ Sourik
I definitely will.
can't decipher the text beyond the first three lines :-( its all stars & sickles..
Yeah people have been complaining of it.Any helpful suggestions 2 fix the problem is most welcome.I tried changing the fonts as well.
Naa, delete korte aami besh bhalo koreyi jani :)
I'll mail you. let me look for ur id now.
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