Inside the puddingland

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MySpace Graphics Your kiss spins like a dice in the night air and finds a shelter in the naked geometry of my face. - For R

Monday, March 30, 2009

Dance at Dusk

her eyes
hide a thousand Arab prisoners
frozen with chilled lightening

when the moon seduce lovers
and religious poets

her eyes
throb with an ancient fear
when the street turns dark at the edges
and the pianola stirs ruined memories

as shadows begin to shine
and molten buildings rise to fame

a mystic trend creeps
into those battle-drunk eyes
that now burn with strange prophecies

behold and betray.......

hear the rhythmic beats
and the jubilant pain
as we create once again
with blood and music

the tidings of the day sink
into a tune from the creepy bowers
and metropolitan ashes

and salt ticks weary
in a scented hour-glass

thoughts torment me like busy war-planes

alas my hermit friends,
the time is ripe for another disaster

as silent voices quarrel over blood and silver
and my lips get poisoned with a prayer

I look for a place to hide
behind poems
or virtual pleasure

her eyes now shine
with a crusade for a hero's fall
and memories of a headless horse

follow the darkness
with the magi-cians words

who knocks on the silent door
between faith and death
on this cold December evening?

betray me with a kiss
and a coffin for metallic saints

gamble my body for drachmas

and when darkness shimmers
rise....rise again!

this night reveals a fresh smell
and bleeds a demon's wounds

cure me with a touch and holy water

baptise me O Lord
for my sins and sympathy
and awaken in me
those old Christian beliefs

and as her eyes now sleep
with a pagan verse

let me hunt with a mirror
and explore a few more
spiritual dreams

(The 's' has been omitted from 'seduce' in the fourth line purely for the sake of poetic beauty)


deepteshpoetry said...

For all my Indian readers,

My last poem "The Song-Woman' may come out on the 8th Day page of The Statesman the coming Sunday.

For everyone,
please leave your comments on this one and drop by once again to check out my response.

americanising desi said...

:) well well
you never fail to curprise me
"when the moon seduce lovers"
ahhhh so i know that one, how? well i think i was there when all the seducing was taking place.

as usual, a marvel piece.
i wanna wanna so explore these spiritual dreams!

Chase said...

the eyes are a window to the soul.

beautiful, again, my friend.

You clearly look through at the world with aged eyes.

SweetTalkingGuy said...

Deep, Deeptesh, this is deep and I like the idea of spiritual dreams... Above all I like the timeless feel to this piece.

Pray continue...

gautami tripathy said...

I think adding that 's' would enhance it. But it is your call anyway..

Like it.

mainline to the heart

sudharm baxi said...

hey Deeptesh,
This was almost a painting..
Great detailing..

Jill said...

I like the image of a warrior princess wanting forgiveness for what she has done that came into my mind while reading this!

Fledgling Poet said...

The visual imagery in this was so beautiful...the poem's meaning was incredibly deep and spiritual. I enjoyed this so much...thank you for sharing your words!

Jeeves said...

Wonderful and deep, Deeptesh.

Debs said...

I like a subtle drift in the poem.

But, there are some lines which I feel I have read.

Will talk in detail, some time later.

anthonynorth said...

This read so well. Loved it.

Deeptesh said...

@ americanising desi

you were there when all the seducing was taking place?Funny.Good to hear that u like the 'spiritual dreams'.

@ Chase

interesting opinion there.Actually I write in a trance and the words come to me out of the thin air.And I'm only 18.


Thank you.I do hope to continue.

@ gautami tripathy

Hmmmmm. Your comment made me think.I'm still thinking as a matter of fact.I'm glad that u visited me.

sudharm baxi

Thanks.How did u find me?

@ Jill

Some serious innovative poetic thinking there.I like it.

@ Fledging poet

nice to hear u liked the imagery.

@ Jeeves

Thank you.funny so many people called this 'deep'.It is one of my pet names as well.

@ Debs

Thanks.Which lines?Did u mean I repeated them from my previous poems?And when r u coming over?Could u make it 2 Srijan this time?That's an awful lot of questions...I guess.

@ anthonynorth

Thank u.Nice to have u here again.

"Sunshine" said...

"who knocks on the silent door
between faith and death
on this cold December evening?

betray me with a kiss
and a coffin for metallic saints"

Deep, you've impressed me once again with your imagery. And the words of your poetry sound so beautiful together. Thanks so much for dropping by my blogs. Congratulations on your publication of "The Song-Woman"

Julia Smith said...

'thoughts torment me like busy war-planes'

Great line.

Pretty Me!! said...

interested ideas .. well blended words and imagery !! liked it :)

sujaan said...

read ur poem, twice over...loved the imagery u began with...though the rest of the poem is not too clear to me...perhaps am not used to the style...

Michelle Johnson said...

Hello Deeptesh~ This poem is stunning. I love how you spoke from the heart. Wonderful piece. And, the poem below is beautiful as well. Thanks for dropping by and sharing this with me. Hope all is well with you. Have a nice night.

floreta said...

i love how you describe your writing process.... in a trance and words coming from thin air. it's similar to my process, but somehow yours seems more intense. :) this poem is also much like a trance. two people mirror the other indeed.

Deeptesh said...

@ Sunshine

Those are my favourite lines from the poem too.I have already published a few of my other poems in the papers.And I do like your blogs and drop by whenever I have time.

@ Julia Smith

I actually put away my poems after writing and then sit again for a thorough editing later.This line was added as an afterthought.

@ Pretty Me!!

Thank you.But I need the URL of your blogs to add you.

@ sujaan

This one was a bit different.Happy that u read it twice.....sure u will understand it better if u read it a few more times.

@ Michelle Johnson

Glad that you dropped by and hope u visit me again.Thanks for your kind words.Hope u r doing well too.

@ floreta

Well yeah, it's an induced state of trance.Sometimes I don't understand what I'm writing and later I have to edit it several times.The mirror concept sounded innovative.....sometimes I learn soooo much from good comments.That's the beauty of poetry, I guess.

Sriram said...

hey.. deeptesh.. I do remember you.. Really you must be a great poet.. Nice and lovely poems again and again.. great work mate.. I also feel that you must be a good analyzer and thinker.. Lovely blog.. Do keep in touch.. Cheers!!!

songofsea said...

Woah !!! that was some write.
How do you come up with these ideas!
Lovely Deeptesh...Keep it up...m a regular on ur blog now..See ya buddy.

J. Scott said...

I love it! The imagery is phenomenal one of my favorite phrases is battle-drunk eyes I don't know what it is about that line but I can see it. I hope you did well on your exams

Deeptesh said...

@ Sriram

Wow!What makes you think that?I keep in touch with all of my write friends and will definitely keep in touch with you.

@ songofsea

Funny that even I don't seem to know.The ideas simply come from the thin air as I have said before....must be the Creative Muse!

@ J Scott

It's very visually intense,isn't it?It was added as an afterthought actually.Yeah, my exams are over but the results will take some time to come.

prateek said...

"hear the rhythmic beats
and the jubilant pain
as we create once again
with blood and music"..
Loved it...

Great work Deeptesh..A pure genius of a literary person you are..But you are treading a very tricky terrain(meaning the genre of poems that you normally choose viz.relligion) ,so you need to be very careful as to what you write...Would love to see a Deepteshed "Upagupta" soon..Cheers!!

Deeptesh said...

That's some compliment for sure.As for the religion part, I normally write poems on love which aren't so dangerous after all.This one was an experiment...I had to be extra careful.Happy it came through quite nicely though.And glad that u visited me.

zorlone said...

The words agree with each other. Beautifully written.


WebbieLady said...

Vey deep... the feeling is intense.. what place is depicted in this article? Im interested to know where...

What inspired you to make this very profound piece? I ahve to read through all and that's great seeing also why the seduces has become seduce. ^^

Deeptesh said...

@ zorlone

Oh!Thank you.

@ WebbieLady

A surreal place... holy n enchanted.But it has a lot of reality in it if u make references.And what inspires me to write all my poems is the Creative Muse.

Anupam Verma the obscene poet of night said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anupam Verma the obscene poet of night said...

sorry for the extremely late response to the comments you left in my blog. Although i appreciated them, i only wish they were more insightful i.e. detailed. I like the way you write and the juvenescence that pervades your poetry. Write on, friend. I will be more poem specific the next time i drop by. Let there be more of these dances at dusk; dances which leave a slender, giant tree of entwined mudras in their wake.

Deeptesh said...

Thank u and your dropping by is extremely appreciated!Actually I found your blog by chance and had just a quick glance;I just left behind a hasty comment.I'll definitely drop by your blog sometime later.You are most welcome on my site.

Rye.. said...

“as shadows begin to shine
and molten buildings rise to fame

as silent voices quarrel over blood and silver
and my lips get poisoned with a prayer”

These were my fav lines !

“follow the darkness
with the magi-cians words”

This one evokes that sense of maturity in your work.. You’re getting better and better~
Although, I didn’t ‘love’ the poem.. I liked it a lot :)

serge said...

great job!.. keep it up!

Inam said...

Let the urge take you where it will :)

Kaustav said...

Simply a work of a Genious!

Deeptesh said...

@ Rye

Yeah,those lines worked well, it seems.It's all about maturing with every poem.Thanks for being so encouraging.

@ serge

Oh!Thank you!

@ Inam

Let's hope least with your blessings,Inam da.

@ Kaustav

Thank you.Nice that u visited me!

An angel incognito said...

this poem is really nice...Like all the other poems even this poem has got a lovely inner meaning...Good job!! I wish you continue writing such lovely poems so that we can drop in and give you good comments..(P.S.:See i visited your blog and gave you comments..So u cant really call me "LAZy" all right!!!)

Deeptesh said...

Thank you so much.Yeah, that was fast for a change...can't call u lazy for a few days at least.Lols.You should have left your name here....I couldn't recognise your character name at first.:-) ) )

Pongy Papaya said...

love the end..'hunt with a mirror' ironical & so apt!

Deeptesh said...

Thanks.Yeah, no one until now has pointed out the end.And why do you disappear at times?