Inside the puddingland


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MySpace Graphics Your kiss spins like a dice in the night air and finds a shelter in the naked geometry of my face. - For R

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Time-travel




1. Reflection




A red rose

on the mirror
wet with a symphony


beneath the falling rhyme
I have seen
silent
fluid-filled spaces


electric rivers,
silent white wings
flapping in darkness


travelling against time
in an age of miracles


what haunts you then
when you timidly explore
your own
reflection?



2.The City of Mirrors




-1-


In the city of mirrors


the streets shimmer
with pale blue prophecies


and demon poets
walk slowly with candles
in a confused silence


among the ruins
of voices
and dead cinemas


-2-


Beneath the metallic sky


the capsule moon may reveal
frozen lovers,
lost in time


or actors
rehearsing their sex roles,
amidst an enchanted
forest


with smells of charmed liquids


-3-


In the city of mirrors


you may find magic women
practising alchemy


or fortune-tellers
staring hard at their own
reflections


with guns and memories


-4-


Here every reflection
tricks the eye


and tempts you
with a sinister game
of the senses


and every word spoken
is coated
in a blue mist
of telepathy


or psychic cries


-5-


Sometimes,
as lightening-strikes numb
the tentacles of the city


and darkness fades in a holy trance,
to reveal signs of shock
or horror


blood-stains on the wall
or on an ancient rhyme


might tell,
you've travelled back in time


-6-


In the city of mirrors


every vain game ends in failure
and death


and as you run
through the blinding light,
every street looks the same


in a maze of reflections


until the mirrors dazzle
your sights and senses,
as if to say:


here you all are prisoners of pain


you may come only once
and never go back again


62 comments:

deepteshpoetry said...

Addendum

I must honestly confess that when I first wrote this piece,there was only the second part 'The city of mirrors'.The first past was added as an afterthought influenced by Beethoven's symphonies.Both the parts are capable of being independent pieces,but have been blended together to emphasize the concept of travelling backwards in time where music acts as a vehicle or as we call in science-fiction, the Time-Machine.

americanising desi said...

i am always lost in another world when i read your stuff!
i dunno what you do with it but you do it madly!

ishani said...

very mystic. its like painting a new world with words.

this new world is fascinating.

zorlone said...

Beautiful pieces deeptesh!

I will be following your poems from now on. Good luck with the woof contest! I'm sure you submitted one for the April 17 deadline too.

Z

zorlone said...

Which one? can you tell me the title? you may want to look at the story i made. I entered it to an online writing contest. If you like it, then vote for me.
I would really appreciate that dude.

Title: Blog to the world: blog for you and me

@labels it is under Lainy's blogoversary

Will link you to my blog in a while. do come visit and we shall talk about poetry some more.

Z

Julia Smith said...

I love these lines:

'and demon poets
walk slowly with candles
in a confused silence

among the ruins
of voices
and dead cinemas'

I like how you've arranged these poems into sections, making up one larger piece. It works really well.

I'll have a poem up tonight for the Poetry Train.

Michelle Johnson said...

Enchanting words, Deeptesh. Interesting look at self and time-travel. Hope all is well with you. Have a nice day.

Debs said...

I liked the demon poet part.

But, yet again, I find an uncanny similarity of few usage.

the girl in stiletto said...

hi there. i rarely find poems that i really like, but yours are good. :) keep on writing. i'm not kidding! :P

Chase said...

don't ever stop writing.
really.

I love your interpretation of mirrors.

songofsea said...

Hey hey hey.....
Creepy one...i was imagining it actually.
And good luck with that contest! Woof!! Hope you win it.

Bryan said...

Very interesting. The works seem to build in power as you go from part to part. You create vivid poetry, Deeptesh.

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

oh wow. beautiful.

floreta said...

i don't know why, but this conjures imagery that reminds me of the movie Sin City. i'm sure that's not what you were going for.. awesome that you were inspired by Beethovens Symphonies! I quite like hearing about your process.. You are seriously perhaps my favorite poet (!)... I admit I don't read a lot of poetry literature. So my poetry comes from.. 'nothing'. I echo everyone else here... "keep writing".

Pretty Me!! said...

this was an interesting read !! the lines "what haunts you..." they will definitely leave a mark on every reader !!

sudharm baxi said...

Loved your attitude- 'R U Deepteshified'; 'DREAMS OF THE LAST LION' etc.

And this piece about the other world full of mysticism reminds me of a beautiful song by 'The Eagles' - Hotel California

Good work!!
Got to be following you from today onwards..

Deeptesh said...

@ seher

I love to fiddle madly with words to create another world.It's surreal but not unreal.

@ ishani

I did use a lot of imageries to create this new world, esp in the first part.

@ zorlone

Yeah, I meant my first poem.I'll visit u and read more from you.I love to talk to people about poetry.U can mail me if u like.

@ Julia Smith

There's an occult imagery in there.I arranged my poem into sections only as an afterthought as I said in the addendum.Hoping 2 c ur poem soon.

@ Michelle Johnson

Thank you.I'm doing well.Hope u r fine.

@ Debs

Thanks.Ironically I wanted 2 remove that part while editing but it has been a good hit!

@ the girl in stiletto

Thanks for visiting n appreciating me.Really nice of u!

@ Chase

Thanks.I have to write for I live to write n write to live.

@ songofsea

Creepy for sure!!!N forgot 2 tell almost....I didn't take part in Woof this time.I'll, may be next time.

@ Bryan

Thank you.Interesting idea there! Nice that u visited me.

@ ChinkyGirLMeL

Thank u sooo much!!!Nice 2 have u here.

@ floreta

No, I didn't watch that movie.That is a great compliment to get.I think you should read more poems for if u can write such awesome poems from 'nothing', then think what u can do if u start reading famous poems!

@ Pretty Me!!

Yeah, let's hope the lines haunt my readers as well.

@ sudharm baxi

Last Lion is an anagram.Can u figure it out?Great parallel there.....Hotel California is one of my favourites as well.And thanks for the following!!

SweetTalkingGuy said...

Yeah, the mirrors do it for me...

Cleverly done!!

This really picks up, for me from 4.
It's like lucid dreaming!!

anthonynorth said...

A marvellous reflection of an other world.

Jeeves said...

City of mirrors, thats my pick. Lovely ones here

keithsramblings said...

Deeptesh, this is awe inspiring poetry. This is the first time I've visited your site - I'll be back for more.

bARE-eYED sUN said...

sorry, we wish we could give you a quick comment and be done with it, but, alas we cannot.

this piece is haunting (which usually means good) and dense.

we're gonna need to copy/paste/print and reread several times in order to give a proper comment.

for the moment we can only say that at a quick glance this piece is nothing short of brilliant.

but, we don't wanna get carried away, do we?

we're gonna read it some more.

thanks for sharing,

p.s. we never want to reread our own verse, as a matter of fact we prefer to forget. :-)

..
.ero

Nana said...

Hey

thank you for checking out my blog. Your poetry is very vivid, you have a lot of talent.

Fledgling Poet said...

Such vivid and intriguing imagery...you took me to another place. Just beautiful!

Ella said...

oh...i've read one of floreta's poems just today and now yours..i think im going to be seriously reading poetry from now on...nice...it's really nice..

Deeptesh said...

@ STG

Yeah, I did pick up the tempo towards the end.It is dreamy after all.

@ anthonynorth

Profound thinking there.

@ Jeeves

Thanks

@ keithsramblings

Thank you!!U r welcome to visit and comment as many times as u like.

@ bARE-eYED sUN

Thank you!!Poems do reveal newer meanings on re-reading.U r welcome to read this again, go in deeper and comment again and again.

@ Nana

Thank u!!I'll re-check your blog when I have time.

@ Fledging Poet

Good to hear I was able to take u to another place with my imagery!!!!

@ Ella

Thank you.Poetry is always enjoyable.I haven't seen floreta's last poem....I'll do it right away.

gautami tripathy said...

Suppose time travel would be possible some day in future!

Pablo Neruda rewritten

"Sunshine" said...

"In the city of mirrors

the streets shimmer
with pale blue prophecies

and demon poets
walk slowly with candles
in a confused silence

among the ruins
of voices
and dead cinemas"

Deep:

Had to read this one a couple of times before commenting. Even after the second reading, the above lines stood out of my absolute favorites. I agree with Julia on that.

Love the concept of streets shimmering with the prophecies--it works well with the mirror metaphor/motif. Additionally, I appreciate the juxtaposition of ancient ruins with modern cinemas. Very nice imagery, once again.

Sriram said...

Thanx for droppin by mine.. Interesting poem.. Jus rockin.. Keep up the good work.. stay in touch.. tak care..

linda may said...

G'Day thanks for visiting me and commenting. That poem is magical.

sujaan said...

i like the idea of merging the two pieces together...gives a teleport kind of a feeling...
the whole thing is truly magical (as many have already said)
i loved this line :
as lightening-strikes numb
the tentacles of the city

:) keep writing

Deeptesh said...

@ gautami tripathy

Wow, that would be real fun.We need better scientists I suppose.

@ Sunshine

Thanks.Glad that u read it more than once as newer meanings surface on re-reading.Good to hear you like my imageries.The juxtaposition was an experiment.....I had tried out more of it in Helen-in memoriam.

@ Sriram

Thanks mate!Your posts rock as well.

@ linda may

Thank you!Hope u visit me again.

Deeptesh said...

@ sujaan

As you may have seen, I said that I put the first part in as an afterthought.Gautami was saying if time travel would ever be possible.Wonder what someone like u feels on that.I mean the sci-fi element in this.

Larissa said...

your writings are amazing...the words are incredibly beautiful.
where do you find such inspiration for your writing? its nice to read something like this especially when creativity is so hard to find these days. I felt like I could feel, see, touch the images you painted. very nice. :D

Deeptesh said...

@ Larissa

Thank u very much for dropping by and your nice comment.My words and images actually get formed magically.....it's the Poetic Muse as I have so often said.And I like building up powerful imageries that appeal to all our sensual perceptions.

sourik_poetsparadise said...

'the streets shimmer
with pale blue prophecies


and demon poets
walk slowly with candles
in a confused silence'
I liked these lines a lot deep...
So , i find you are writing a lot these days...how are you?? sorry , i am keeping myself a bit busy as well as a bit upset these days...unfortunately , i didn't qualify in the pre-medical exams...now , i am looking forward to crack the law entrance exams...please do wish me luck...
and please forgive me for commenting so late...

Keep writing!!!
Wishing you good luck!!!

Sourik

Deeptesh said...

@ Sourik

Funny how many people loved the imagery in those lines.I have a poem on spirituality as well....chk it out when u come over next time.I'm not writing a lot...just finished two poems after my board exams.Sorry to hear you didn't qualify for PMT.....no need to be upset.I'm sure u will do well in your coming exams.Thanks for finding time to see my poem...my blessings are with u always.

Gypsy at heart said...

Certainly food for thought...

siras said...

Awesome blog!
I will read your beautiful poetry in peace later, and then comment. But I can already make out you write beautiful. Will be back later. :)

Komal said...

Beautifully put! (:

Thanks for visiting my blog!

Deeptesh said...

@ Gypsy at heart

I really wanna make everyone think.

@ Siras

Thank you.You are welcome to visit me again and comment as you like.

@ Komal

Thank you very much!

zorlone said...

Deeptesh,
Still working on your latest poem? I can't wait to see it. hehehe.

Good luck with that dude. I am currently looking for a cheap or free copyright protection for my blog. I know someone who was plagiarised.

Z

Julia Ward said...

WOW!

You've got one helluva gift there cowboy!

Why, we'd be mighty pleased to have you join us on Poetry Friday.

Okay, seriously...
Beautiful use of language and imagery. I also am a musician and artist - isn't it amazing how colour, form, sound, passages, and light affect our use of language.

BRAVO! applause...
just send me a poem by next Friday...a txt file is perfect (I can't guarantee special formatting)
and include you name and web addy...
I can't wait!
blessings,
julia

sushreyapal said...

All of your poems are really awesome... They are surely worth reading.

Deeptesh said...

@ zorlone

Well,I'm not thinking about my next poem now....Sometimes my poems take a long time to come.the lines just get formed magically and unless that I happens I never start writing.The best part is I don't know when those lines will come.

@ Julia Ward

Thank u.Count me in then.And it amazes me as well how intricately literature,painting and music are woven together.Fine arts at the highest level is very much the same in all streams.

@ sushreyapal

Thanks for dropping by n ur lovely comment!

WarmSunshine said...

Nice blog Deeptesh :)

You're being blogrolled :P

Deeptesh said...

Wow...thanks.I just visited your blog and left a comment.

ABHISHEK SiM said...

astoundingly abstract! i m dumbfounded - spell bounded.
so unreal - yet so magically real.

brilliant!

You are blog-rolled!

J. Scott said...

This is by far one of my favorite poems so far. I am sorry I didn't come sooner but I have a job and I have been working a lot of hours lately. Great work

sujaan said...

since u asked, although physics doesn't disprove the possibility of time travel, i do not think it's possible to achieve it

Saima Afreen said...

"In the city of mirrors

the streets shimmer
with pale blue prophecies

and demon poets
walk slowly with candles
in a confused silence

among the ruins
of voices
and dead cinemas"

Hey, Deeptesh! Your sense of imagery is marvellous. Your words flow like waves of a deep sea and make the readers delve deep in search of hidden secrets. You have beautifully put mirrors and candles to put a contrast. Reflections in those vitreous streets can become illusive yet real. I feel inspired to write a poem. Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving your nice comments..

WebbieLady said...

I adore your talents! Great piece and it's so deep for me that I could hardly fathom... you're a real poet.

Congratulations and keep up the great works, Deeptesh!

Deeptesh said...

@ ABHISEKH SiM

Thanks mate.Yeah, abstraction is my newest fascination.I'm visiting u right away!

@ J Scott

Thank u.It's great that u found time in your busy schedule to drop by my blog once again.It's highly appreciated!

@ sujaan

Wow....I thought you'd admit that it's a distant possibility in the near future.The relativistic concept.....may be?

@ Saima Afreen

Well, it's an eerie combination to evoke the sense of surrealism.Glad that u visited me.I'm happy to be an inspiration for a poem....would love to read it!

@ WebbieLady

Thanks again for visiting me.Love your compliments. :-)

Ria said...

Wow!tht was simply beautiful!!U write really well.

zorlone said...

Deeptesh,

Congratulations for making it to the top five in the poetry category of the WOOF contest!

Z

Deeptesh said...

@ Ria

Thanks.Glad u visited me.

@ zorlone

Thank u friend!Congrats to u as well for making it to the top!

Jena Isle said...

Hi DT,

You're just 19 and you write such beautiful poetry. Doc Z has to watch out his back....lol..just kidding.

I voted for you because you deserve to win. Congrats for winning at WOOF.

Keep writing.

Deeptesh said...

@ Jena Isle

Thanks for visiting me n also voting for me!I'm glad u did it.And I'm 18....I'll turn 19 this July.

Piali said...

This poem of yours is beautiful in a heartbreaking way. It is as if you are speaking of a fantasy world seen through a broken mirror. This piece can't be put under a label.
I, as always, remain a true fan of your poetry.
- Piali

windless said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
windless said...

A ballad...a journey is felt...the garden of winding, if not forking paths, a la Borges...but, u could have gone beyond the typical nostalgia of the lost city...have u read Calvino's Invisible Cities? if not, read it n u will understand what I thought was missing in this otherwise well-crafted poem...keep it up...ARKA CHATTOPADHYAY

Rye.. said...

Red rose wet with symphony?

Tht line evokes you to read thru' the poem...again and again and....yet again! :)