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Friday, July 24, 2009

Monalistic........




-1-


halogen storm


receding streets beneath the moon,


ancient Persian tunes
flash across the mind
like threads of painted glass


I stare into the naked silence
of your eyes
and watch the world
change colour


-2-


mirrors on the ice,


and a palace dressed in smoke,


the lady in Louvre
always speaks in metaphors


reading the confessions
beneath her smile,
I knew every girl
loves secrets


I wish I knew yours,
when I met you
that blue evening
in Paris

-3-


lonely in silence,
call me by my name


soft blush on your cheeks
when you hear my voice,
someone calls you
a poet’s first love


what thoughts assail you then,
my little girl,
when you sit alone
in an empty room?


what griefs chase you
that make you weep in silence?


-4-


hour-glass in my dreams,


wild flowers in your hair,


my thoughts travel backwards
in time


that evening when we cried
as we held hands
in the metro


or when we together
got drenched in the Maidan
last summer


-5-


sad songs of the winter;
I miss you


couples at the Victoria;
I miss you


the crowded bus at Shyambazaar;
I miss you


party-time on the ledge,
when people smoke
over art and politics;


I miss you


-6-


tonight,
I offer you my words
like a white necklace


burn my poems
if they make you cry


someday,
you might have to write
an elegy…………

35 comments:

Michelle Johnson said...

Nice work. My favorite was the beginning, #1. Hope all is well.

sreemoyee said...

very touchy

bARE-eYED sUN said...

hey Deep,

we enjoy your latest, good imagery, catchy metre, and toughtful phrasing.

we're pleased that you've condensed your expression into focused nuggets of sound. luvitt.

:-)

..
.ero

Brosreview said...

Hmm, interesting! I am interlinking all of them and understanding it. I hope that is the way you prefer your readers to take it.

It is very well done. I like the metaphors you've used here. Fantastic phrases yielding great imagery here. A nice tale told with good messages in it.

Well done, you. Keep up the great work!

SandyCarlson said...

"I stare into the naked silence of your eyes" begins a stanza that stirs and haunts me. This is a powerful piece.

Jeeves said...

Nice one

ishani said...

"the lady in Louvre
always speaks in metaphors

reading the confessions
beneath her smile,
I knew every girl
loves secrets"

best lines.

you're getting on the ground in this poem. i mean, the latter half gets very realistic, something which i've never come across in your earlier works. and also i see JU has already started influencing you... the legde... talk of art and politics accompanied by lots of smoke!
i think a change is approaching. in your works i mean. you will change your style before long, this poem is the prelude.

a nice prelude.

don't stop writing.

Lion-ess said...

it's a sad beautiful poem...

Saima Afreen said...

Amazing work Deeptesh! The lines are beautiful and tell tales of melancholic love replete with brilliant imageries. Reminds me of old English Romantic poets. The flow is lucid and the effect indelible. Keep such lyrical lines flow from your pen and amaze your readers with more of your wonderful verses...

floreta said...

my favorite is '2' - love the mysteries of the mona lisa!

Amrita said...

interesting imagery...i can see that you are a powerhouse of talent.if u have read my post in my blog, i might appear to u as this querulous girl, dissatisfied with her life but i do now consider myself to be highly priviledged to be a part of JUDE which houses such immense talents.
well coming back to your poem...
the opening lines itself gives out this esoteric charm and is truly one of the best i have come across in my peers.it speaks of immaculate brilliance and appeals to your sensitivity..
terrefic represantation of the elusive charm that emanates from Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa"..kudos to him..
the later part poignantly reflect the theme of unrequitted love..it elucidates the fact that the poet is besotted by his muse..the poetic fervour especially heightens the mood of the poem..
the allusion to the ledge is something which i identify with..it really is a v happening place..this poem is truly impressive and speak volumes of your writing prowess,spontaneity and lyrical drive..
god bless you..
try writing stories someday..
god bless you again..and kudos!!

Marja said...

"ancient Persian tunes
flash across the mind
like threads of painted glass"
Absolute wonderful lines

Great work deeptesh

Chase said...

this is great, i always love to read what you come up with.

Especially,
the lady in Louvre
always speaks in metaphors


reading the confessions
beneath her smile,
I knew every girl
loves secrets


Great lines. Very Poignant

Jm Benavidez Estoque said...

wow! you have a creative new style of poetry! I like it! :)

M.J. said...

Each piece was interesting, but I really liked #2. The images of smoke and mirrors gave your words a surreal, mysterious quality. I really enjoy poetry, and other writing, that plays with the fine line between reality and fantasy.

Robin said...

Outstanding work! The imagery is fantastic and definitely appeals to me...

"I stare into the naked silence
of your eyes
and watch the world
change colour"

Awesome :)

Devika said...

Its emotionally stirring, Deeptesh :)

a fine read,

wishes,
devika

"Sunshine" said...

My favorite is part 2. I love "the lady in Louvre / always speaks in metaphors." There has been so much debate over what the Mona Lisa represents, and your lines illuminate that fascination so well.

Good to see you back in the blogging world, Deep. I haven't been blogging as much lately, myself. Best of luck in your academic endeavors!

Americanising Desi said...

you sure came back the good way :)

love the imagery!

zorlone said...

Fantastic imagery once again my friend!

Like what I noticed from before, your stanzas seem to stand by itself. Btw, here are more places here. From Paris to Persia.

This is my favorite part

"I stare into the naked silence
of your eyes
and watch the world
change colour"

Very meaningful, at least to me.

Z

sujaan said...

nice :) loved the end... "burn my poems if they make you cry" was my favourite

Dipankar Lahiri said...

Well...looks like there's at least someone in class who'll join the ranks of Blake and Shelley in terrorizing the rest of us. Yeah...probably you're the best unpublished poet I've read in a while.

oregoncitygirl said...

"I knew every girl
loves secrets"

--This is so true!!
As always I want to close my eyes and let the images you paint wash over me. very lovely.

Soumashree said...

Exceptional art work, Deeptesh.
Wouldn't be surprised if the future generations study this in our very class.
Quite a pleasure reading this for the second time, you're obviously a champion writer!

rajdeep bhattacharya said...

I stare into the naked silence
of your eyes
and watch the world
change colour
loved the poem
and the way u rite
marvelous

Srayan said...

Well as usual a wonderful piece of fine art of writing.........
Dis was a new type of poems dan d earlier ones u used 2 show me in school...kep it up mayb u will become a renowned writer along wid d other gr8 ones.....
best of luck

Cynthia said...

Just beautiful, obviously written
from the heart. Your writing is
so clear and your poetry very
meaningful.

Mer-curial-maiden said...

Hello Deeptesh,

This is the senior you met in class the other day :)

The Secret Keeper said...

Here.
I comment.
Since you wanted one.
:)
And by the way,
I like what I see.

Mer-curial-maiden said...

Write me some Haiku. And drop in at "The Wonder Years" if and when you do. Cheers!

Rye.. said...

halogen storm


receding streets beneath the moon,


ancient Persian tunes
flash across the mind
like threads of painted glass

I loved those lines..You're getting better by the day..I'd told that you would! Sorry I was very busy..Tumi kemon aachho? Congratulations on your wonderful result! :)
Stay well..

De Wolf said...

hello deeptesh...arijeet here...
this was fantastic. i really appreciate it. what if our art had a life of its own? i really dont know...i liked it though.

Disha.... said...

great work deeptesh........i liked it very much..this 1 you recited in our freshers ri8??????

Deeptesh said...

@ all

Thanks.Yeah I did read it out on the day of our union freshers!But I actually blended it with another poem on my blog called 'Musings'

sourik_poetsparadise said...

Loved the beginning and the lucid description of such complex and also, beautiful thoughts in a rather simple language. Found it really pleasing.

"sad songs of the winter;
I miss you


couples at the Victoria;
I miss you


the crowded bus at Shyambazaar;
I miss you


party-time on the ledge,
when people smoke
over art and politics;


I miss you"
My favourite lines from this one.
The poem is otherwise very powerful, although as an ardent reader of your poems, and keeping in mind your calibre as a poet, and how easily you do juggle with words, maybe, the ending could have been better...well, that's only my personal opinion as a reader , my friend...i know the poet will know it better than me.

Anyways,
Keep Writing!

Wishing you good luck!
Sourik